Clarification on what i am looking out for.

 Thought would like to clarify to everyone (esp potential master/mistress)

I am serious that I am looking for a REAL master/mistress that will break me and mold me to his/her masterpiece. 

However, I thought would like to clarify the following: 

I do have my set of fantasy, which is hopefully being fulfilled which summaries as follows:

1. To be forced to be in GIRLS school uniforms or uncomfortable looking FEMALE formal uniforms 

        not naked, etc. 

2. To be force feminized

        not voluntarily, or by choice

3. To be forced to be serving the needs of the household, like DOMESTIC maid and slave

        not about getting high being a sub  

4. Be captive by master fully under his control. 

        it is the REAL thing where I am well locked within the master's compound and not allowed freedom; freedom is no more. meaning i am not allowed any vanilla life anymore, like work etc

Realized in my years of exploring, potential masters seems to be only looking for short-term highs or want to have a stint. Likewise they seems to think i want the similar from the point of slave, like:

1. lets simulate it so I may feel that 'experience' 

2. Lets do it now for the 'experience' 

3. Lets do it, but you have to work your usual job. 

I would like to clarify, the above are just simulation and for the 'feel good' feeling of many who feels high being the bottom. I have to admit, I do feel high at times for feeling of being in bottom. 

But I just want to be realistic with myself and for the potential masters out there-- I am not seeking for such 'high' or 'instant gratifications' 

I know myself. I have experienced it myself. Fantasy and real life experience can be different. 

The so called punishment, may feel good if it is simulated, or being imagined. But is it really that good of a experience if it goes beyond the so-called short term high? I know it is not! It will be a agony, painful and 'want-out feeling' for the slave! And I am fully aware of that! 

Allow me to re-introduce myself: I am a real MAN in my vanilla life, with all the ego and pride of a man. I do have strong opinions and does not like to submit in real life. I also may have tendency to reason my way though situations or challenge authorities if i find that it may not be right. 

Am I, NOW, behaving like a sub/slave/sissy or the likes of any in this category? I plainly say no!. I am not into the simulation or feel good being tortured which many are into. Sorry to disappoint many! 

To add on, having a very short stint before, though it was badly done by the master apparent, I know exactly what is the experience: 

Initially being tied up felt good for awhile, initial caning felt good for awhile, initial kneeling felt good for awhile, and initial being mummified also felt good for 20 mins! All these are good for anyone whose inclination is BOTTOM and goes for a 2 hour- 4 hours session. where both parties feel good, master feels good being the dominant, the bottom feels good being subjected under treatment. 

And from the same experience, being wrapped (mummified) again for the whole night, it is no longer the high feeling anymore! It was time of enduring, it become extremely uncomfortable all over, body felt extremely uncomfortable ---- mentally, it is like I WANT OUT! That is where many people practice safe words, which i chose not to have it for the session, where the only way to end was the at the end of the so-called contract- 1 day, 2 days, or more as pre-discussed and agreed by both parties. 

What is more! When finally being cut out of the mummification, feeling was also not good because of the lack of sleep, not easy to sleep inside a hot, sweaty and restrictive cling wraps. There was no more high, just body instinctive reaction of trying to recover from the 'experience'- body feeling uncomfortable all over. - not the so called high anymore

Was that all, no! I was immediately positioned into a canning position early in the morning, and was not even gagged. Was there any high in the experience, also NO!. Being caned when being awake may have that euphoric experience- but it is definitely the opposite when I was being caned in the morning! No high! No thrill... only literally the thought of I wanting it to end, the session and the caning. 

So when the canning stop, the inexperienced 'so called master' let me to sit alone to 'reflect' while he rested on the bed. My instinct, was simply to overpower him! and reverse it on him by locking him by the chain on the neck and secure him to a window, also blindfolding him. Again, it was not a high feeling. It was the high desperation instinct to escape from him asap. 

I intentional left the key, just near enough to him to reach before the chain restricted him. But hidden in around. Right before i escaped, I briefed him on how to be freed from the chain before I rushed out of the room. While making sure he needs time to be freed. I remembered the fear of him chasing up with me and i really rushed out of the place swiftly. Only to find relieve once i got on the cab. 

I remembered somehow after the experience, I appreciated my vanilla's life better. 

So why do i share this? that i do not want to have this experience anymore? No! In fact, I realized over the years, this thought of my fantasy would keep coming back to me, it may not leave me. 

So am I just resorting to wanting to think about it and stay as fantasy so that I can feel high thinking about it? maybe, but no.. 

So these are the few things that I am sure of as a person now: 

1. Am I at present living or willing to live a submissive/slave lifestyle- no

2. Am I behaving or willing to be obedient to anyone- no

3. Am I going to embark in simulation game, like calling someone and address them as master and behave submissively in front of them- no

These are all just simulation, they are not real. 

So what am I looking out for, may not be what I want. The REAL THING!! And I am being realistic with myself! To redefine the above points. 

I am not willing, But I am OPENED to discuss the future. And hopefully the aligned potential master on this matter. 

So what I hope that it will be like? Opened minded potential master who respects me for the above, we can discuss on the future of my slavery (not about the feeling high), prepare both ourselves for the ultimate day when it will start: 

For the master: to prepare his house and space for such arrangement

For me as slave: to prepare my disappearance from this society, ensure family taken care of, or any necessary arrangement. Of cause, this can never be fully ready, but expecting at least to have done to an extend is sufficient 

For both: To fine tune the potential lifestyle and reconcile and come to agreement of how it will work out, mainly to discuss the arrangement to be feasible for both parties. It is not an ideal anymore, we need to bring a tinge of realism in the discussion! 

And during the preparation, I am myself! I am not willing to try to behavior modification at this stage or do anything with regard to this lifestyle. Yes, meeting or discussion with the master will be ongoing, fine tuning any aspects to become feasible. Discussion may have argument, may have disagreement, which will not cause me to be punished at this point of time. I am still in vanilla. 

So what is the potential tinge of realism for both parties:

1. Being slave means i may potentially disappear from society. Likely I relocate to whichever the master stays. And for this to work, I am 100% likely to be legally overstaying, which careful planning is required. 

2. And as such, being potentially real lifetime slave in this situation means I have to be kept away from the public sight so that this whole arrangement does not involve the law of the land. Careful planning is required too. 

3. And linking previous point to this, if the arrangement is really lifetime, I will surely be well hidden in the house and no more valid passport. -> potential masters, it is the real thing, please do not ideally think i will still hold a vanilla work to contribute to the household financially, it is literally impossible, be realistic bro!. 

4. Knowing my true current vanilla character instead of insisting that I already try being submissive or more. And knowing me, so that you can plan on how to break me in my mind successfully and attain full mental control over me when we finally enters this arrangement. 

5. How to upkeep me in long run, although slave's needs is bare basic. But still need to be realistic- what if master's interest in this arrangement fades 1-2 years into the lifestyle? The arrangement discussion on this: to release me, which may have alot of law problems, eg me being illegal immigrant there, or master being found out for slavery and charged by the law. These considerations are real! I am sick and tired for potentials' who dream but never considered such.. Mentioning this, this lifestyle is REALLY a ONE-WAY TRAFFIC for BOTH PARTIES. So master surely need his necessary mental preparation, in realism for what we getting into, he cannot simply just call it off.. 

5a. So for this REAL thing to happen, if really the master is sick and tired of me, we need alot of discussion for such to come out with realistic solutions. Likely along the line of selling me to another master that also aligns with this. 

To emphasize: This will be a REAL thing, not a FANTASY, planning must take into account the real issues! Not just fantasy. 

6. Alot of intense discussion on how this lifestyle going to be..  Here, alot of discussion to agree and disagree until we finally come out an agreement on all the different arrangements, like uniforms, hygiene, sleeping etc. And even potential expiry of certain arrangement, for, likely the idea of me being in school uniforms last only up to 1 or 2 years. Somehow need to 'graduate' from it. Master may have other types of clothing uniform from the land after that, etc.

So, how is this going to be like potentially: 

A. Get to know each other vanillaly and understand each other fantasy, if it matches, we can continue to discuss. And be cool if our ideas are poles apart, we just simply be friends and not progress further. 

B. If there is roughly 70% alignment, we can meet regularly to discuss deeper which may take 1-2 years. This period also a time for both parties to be sure and serious about it. No more simulation, stint or what anyone calls it. 

C. Set a potential date to work towards. 

D. Start Date, Thats the day I will sign the contract, and the moment the contract signs, what was finalised in the discussion will be executed. And literally, the contract signing will be the final free-willed decision i will make as a free-man. After that, I will literally be broken, tamed, molded and owned by the master, ONE WAY TRAFFIC. 

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Writing so much, so what is my take on this: 

I am not willing to be a slave now, but i am open to discuss potential real thing as slave where the last free thing I do is to sign off the contract. Once signed there is real thing, no such thing as out, whether I like it or not, master has his full authority over my training, 

It is not about a tough master or what anymore, it is whether the master is serious and has the ability to FIRST tame me and brainwash submission over me. Force all the new lifestyle and mindset over me etc. And that the master is commit also in doing it. 

So ideally, not perfectly matched, a potential master at least must have the following: 

1. a well secluded house of his own to house me from public

2. Really committed to be master and willing to only start his 'work' once we really start

3. Willing to wait for his ultimate prize

4. Financially stable to maintain this lifestyle 

5. Certain maturity to be realistic on this 

6. Maturity for lifetime commitment to maintain me as slave 

7. Maturity of allowing my 'preference' in this lifestyle to happen for at least a period before gearing into his 'own' over time. Aka, Maturity to respect, in contractual terms, have expiry. 

7. Any other which ensures that this is more of the real thing than a stint. 

I RECOGNISE THAT GETTING A MASTER FOR SUCH REAL THING MAY BE A LONG SHOT. I BELIEVE I AM OK WITH THAT, IF HE/SHE FINALLY APPEAR. 

RATHER THAN INSISTING OR DESPERATING TRYING TO CONVICE SOMEONE TO TAKE ME ON, THIS IS REAL SERIOUS COMMITMENT! 

OR WORST, BEING TRICKED TO CERTAIN SCAM OF SOMEONE PROMISING HE CAN DO ALL, AND GOES INTO IT IMMEDIATELY TO BE SCAMMED INTO OTHER WEIRD ARRANGEMENTS

I RATHER WAIT, IF IT HAPPENS, SO BE IT, IF IT DOESNT, I WILL JUST CONTINUE MY VANILLA LIFESTYLE WITH PERIODIC THOUGHTS OF THIS FANTASY.. 

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Carrying further for this, an ideal REALISTIC plan for both at the start of such arrangement may end up like this: 

1. Pre-lifestyle planning will be based on lifetime arrangement. Because after contract sign, no more planning from my side will be allowed. 

2. Contract may be signed for 1 week trial session. 

    Which will likely lead to extension, and who determines this extension, is the master! How so? 

    a. The fact that I no longer have rights, i cannot determine 

    b. Also for the master to see if he is really committed to this lifestyle and wants to continue keeping me

    c. Also his skill to break and brainwash me for this week. If he finds it a struggle himself, maybe of lack of his skills, he also may not be able to 'trick' me for extension of contract. 

    d. So in short, this one week is whether master is ok with this commitment before he decides if he wants to continue, and also really to test his own skill on how to 'Stockholm syndrome' me into further extension.  

2. So realistically speaking, it may beginning as 1 week only, although planning is for lifetime, master's choice is he can still decide to end before it is too late for him. For me my last real choice is the first contract. 

3. So the progression may be: 

Start with 1 week, then extent to 1 month, then extend further to 3 months, 6 months, 2 year, then lifetime. Much that extension require my signature, but it is not really considered my free-will by then. Rather it is master's carefully crafted skills and ability to 'trick' me to extend. 

One bad example is that (works for 1st extension only) is that I am so extensively punished or process of broken such that to beg for relenting, master offer me a 'choice' of short extension of service in exchange. Of cause this is where master decides he wants to continue. 

And progressively, being brainwashed that there is nothing left in vanilla for me or not worth it to go back vanilla than my lifetime is signed. 

This sections definitely need to be well discussed before the actual start.. And indeed, it is really the master's wish and ability that really matters.

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And lastly, how it will likely be played out one the first day of this arrangement: 

I may need to be mentally suppressed against myself and start on the reconditioning works by the master. First few day, master may need to invest alot to make me know my NEW position and EXPECTION of a slave from henceforth. It will surely be a forced on.. 

And I am absolutely sure that by the day 2, I will surely want to QUIT! It is absolute! (I am being as realistic to potential master in this, so if the potential master do not like this, and expected me that I ideally still want to continue from day 2, guess is not my potential master then.)

And that is when the master's true skill is at work to break me and brainwash me into this new lifestyle, and learn to accept this FEELING as it really befitting a slave. This is the REAL THING!! 

Not the high or erotic or euphoric/ecstatic feeling for my side. There are many people in various social media who are looking for this, full for well matched master for this.. But not me! 

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So to potential master/mistress, if you look from this angle, in long run, you will literally own a real procession, that you train to serve you all your life. REAL ONE, NOT FAKE. But please be realistic in planning together with me, please don't be ideal. 


Hopes this clarify to all potentials.. lets not waste times....